Former soldier comes out in his obituary

RENSSELAER – Of all the people who have walked the earth, it’s a safe bet many of them have gone to their grave taking secrets with them that no one will ever know. Then there are people like Col. Edward Ryan, of Rensselaer, who was determined to make sure his secret came out and became part of his legacy.

Former soldier comes out in his obituary

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Edward Thomas Ryan is a decorated Army veteran who served with the Army’s 10th Brigade. He received many awards, including the National Defense Service Medal and the Defense of Liberty Medal for participation to the State following the attack on America on 9/11.

He is also a former Rensselaer firefighter.

Much of the world only found out the truth about Ed Ryan when they read his recent obituary in which he wrote:

“I was gay all my life. I was in a loving relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush. He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as gay. I was afraid of being ostracized by family, friends, and co-workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever rest in peace.”

“I got a little verklempt and you tear up when you read these kinds of stories,” said Libby Post, a long time area LGBT activist. “It’s understandable why he stayed in the closet but at least he had a loving partner for 25 years.”

Post believes Colonel Ryan’s dying message helps people recognize the pain that so many in the LGBT community endure throughout their lives.

“What his actions have done is send a message to those of us who are in the closet, to come out; for the elderly among us who are still here, that it’s important for you to speak out; for the youth to come out and be part of a community,” she said.

Among the many messages left on the Hans Funeral Home website:

I’m so sorry you had to hide your true self during your lifetime,” one person wrote.

“Having heard your final words please know that your ultimate courage to speak your truth is profoundly moving,” wrote another.

“You are a hero. Thank you for telling your truth. Rest peacefully sir, you deserve heaven and all it’s glory,” wrote yet another.

“People have been generally really supportive and sorry that he had to live his life like that,” Post pointed out. “That to me is a real shift because if this story had come out ten years ago, I think the comments would have been a lot different.”

According to Ryan’s obituary, his body has been donated to the Anatomical Gift Program at Albany Medical Center, after which he’ll be cremated, and his legacy will live on.